The Tempest

"These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air,
And, like the baseless fabric of vision,
The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with sleep."

- William Shakespeare, The Tempest

I have found my weakest point, that sucks.. I was choking with sobs but could not cry..
I'm such a worthless warrior! Shame and disgrace to me.........


Today I walked a very long time .. Looking at the nature and the clear blue sky.. I was happy!
I looked at the people passing by .. my God, what they are spending their time on? 

Maintaining stable frameworks of life (boring), making money,all those gossips and shit, thinking about themselves... People are holding SO tighly all the things they've been brainwashed with from childhood, so scared of letting them go. They will die, thousands of those dies every fucking day... And .. They do not understand that they will always remain just... AVERAGE...middle class, 

normal, not interesting. I laugh at this world, because everything that occurs to me is the biggest game of some illusionist, and all of you are just playing random roles.

So I went out today, looked around .. Oooh ... Those stupid filthy persons... Having so great egos that even the smallest trouble is like the punch in the face, they are taking just everything personally. Against them  I feel winged and happy, I am everything and I do not exist in other parallel.... 

I'm nobody and I do whatever I want, I am free.

We are accidents waiting to happen

The illusions of reality drive frenzy mind into despair.
Messy old bed, surrounded by four grey walls, now plays the role of Ancient Temple.
Constantly changing scenes on the blue screen make the eyes bleed.

When Gods remain deft to your prays and all the shadows disappear from the darkness, sadness wraps it’s noose around your neck, trying to strangle.

I have almost lost myself, I’m just accidental passion that will be lost by this evening.

I have hidden my tenderness deep inside, just like the swords hide the pain before the fatal moment.

Simplicity

It opens, the gate to the garden
With the docility of a page
That frequent devotion questions
And inside, my gaze
Has no need to fix on objects
That already exist, exact, in memory.
I know the customs and souls
And that dialect of allusions
That every human gathering goes weaving.

I’ve no need to speak
Nor claim false privilege;
They know me well who surround me here,
Know well my afflictions and weakness.
This is to reach the highest thing,
That Heaven perhaps will grant us:
Not admiration or victory
But simply to be accepted
As part of an undeniable Reality,
Like stones and trees. 


J.L.Borges

So I sat there, in cozy intimate darkness of this Egyptian tent, watching candles teasing my heavily pacified mind with shadows they created on embroidered bronze walls.

Sweet smell of Kyphi woke up the very ancient instincts in me, as I laid back to concentrate my eyes on the door – the curtain was shivering. Slowly it moved to the side, and the first angelic creature carefully stepped in. Smile raised to my face, there they were standing, three beautiful Nymphs, with glowing olive colored skin and wandering dark eyes of young gazelles. 

Looking so innocent, but so ready for things, that are never spoken on English gentlemen’s aristocratic whisky evenings. Oh, those little maidens were really like Saints turning into Sinners, falling angels going to Hell… Kissing their lotus-like feet was unearthly pleasure, not speaking of everything else could be done under the gentle cover of that Arabic night.

And the sitars outside never stopped playing their magical melodies...

The Perfume of Immortality

It is well known, that Aleister Crowley had magnetism and charm beyond compare. He explained his sexual attraction with "Ruthvah",  or The Perfume of Immortality, how he liked to call it. 

Supposedly used by King Solomon, Ruthvah is a mix of three aphrodisiacs. Carefully massaged into hair (especially roots), face and body, the smell of this elixir should be imperceptible for others, creating that mysterious and attractive aura.

The person wearing this odour, is therefore armed with the powerful weapon "against the deepest elements in the nature of those desired to attract." Presumably, Ruthvah claimed obedience from those who were around him, as they definetly felt something, but didn't understand what was it, taking control over them.
 
Here is the original recipe for Ruthvah, for anyone who feels the inclination to experiment with it

Mix together 3 parts of civet, 2 parts of musk, and 1 part of ambergris.

The hardest part is founding the original aphrodisiacs. All of them seems to be on the Ebay, but most are mixed with essential oils and so. Real ambergris is extremely hard to find and, many perfumers say they've never even smelled it in its raw state. 

But - nothing is impossible, so if you want to try this powerful asset, go for it! 

I still don't quite understand how she came near to me. I saw her happily running up to me; I saw her standing beside me motionless, always looking intently through me. She had golden, wavy hair and cold eyes; she had black ripped wings... In her opaque-blue reflections I saw my own past. The stars in her eyes reflected the infinity of Universe.


I saw thousands of faces changing... And none of them were real... Only Your eyes always remain the same. You are Everywhere and Nowhere...

She was quiet, she yelled; she left; she was always here and she never came back...Her voice was the lullaby of the wind, her cry was the cry of an eagle, she flowed from me, like the waves deep into the ocean, to return as tsunami..........


Her eyes are the most sad and calm of all that I have ever seen.
We are the closest to each other, but I will never find a more distant being here on earth. I love you, so I will never even touch your hand. I will never hold you, to save our Love from all that perishability. It's better for me not to see you, while I'm here.
You are my shadow, that lives in the human's mind. Got here to please me forever, and forever make me sad. Reminding me through lifes, that .... it's not so illusory.There is no one better than you. Therefore, I will always be walking away from you.